Where to begin...

I finally had my "moment" last Friday night. I came home at 5:30 PM and told Hank, who was cutting the grass in the front yard that I was "done!" I took a bath, put on my pajamas, got my pillow, turned on the TV and laid down on the sofa. I moved from the sofa to the bed at 10:00 PM and got up on Saturday afternoon at 12:07 PM. Between the pressure of finishing the grant (let me assure you that I am NOT a grant writer and have been nervous, VERY nervous for two solid weeks) and all of the drama at the office, I was completely exhausted.

Not to mention that I never flinched during all of the brouhaha with Mother and Ned. I think I might have been overdue for a "sinking spell."

The difficulties with the economy have hit education hard in the state of South Carolina...it's hit hard in other places also but in most instances, governors are accepting the stimulus money to help offset reductions in force. The governor of SC, who is not a friend of public education, says that he isn't accepting the money, therefore our new superintendent (bless his heart for moving to a new job in a new state and have all of this drop in his lap first thing...) had to go ahead and reorganize. I suppose I'm thankful for the distraction of the grant proposal as I was too busy to worry about my job the first week. This week was a different story.

Every single person I work with was just sick with worry all week. We had no idea what the reorganization would bring for us until Thursday. For those of us who are Southern Belles and Beaus, well...we thought we were entitled to an update every day and we didn't get one. So...what did we do? We started making things up...looking at every possible scenario and the sub-scenarios and the sub-sub-scenarios and so forth. Then came "THE MEETING"... everybody got called in to learn his or her fate. Best Boss in the World (BB) had a rough day...he had to give each person the news. If anybody could do it with kindness, he certainly could (and did). But here's how I envisioned it...(except that I look NOTHING like Carrie Underwood)

BB- OK...Belle...stand up. Principal Smith says that you're really swell and he'd love to have you come to work for him. Principal Jones thinks that you haven't really "found yourself" and could do with a little more professional development in teacher evaluation. Principal Brown, well, Principal Brown thinks that you are are "forgettable." Belle...the school board voted and...YOU.... ARE......

GOING HOME!!!!!!

As God's grace would have it...I was NOT sent home. My position is safe for now and I am relieved and thankful. And I feel extraordinarily guilty for feeling relieved when many other people's jobs did not make it onto the new organizational chart. They will NOT be unemployed, which is a blessing, but will have to take involuntary transfers back into school buildings or choose to look for employment elsewhere. (There is very little employment elsewhere, as we all well know.) Retirees are who currently employed will not receive contracts until displaced district staff are placed. It's a terrible terrible situation. I guess in a way we're all feeling a sense of grief.

The good news is that I feel much better after giving into my "sinking spell" and am ready to start the new week with renewed energy. I can't be FORGETTABLE, now can I???