Monday, March 23, 2009

A New Day

Well, my friends...I'm praying that we're in the home stretch. Hank and I are moving slowly this morning but I'm going to get dressed and go to work in a little bit. Tomorrow I'll go back to mother's house to try to clean out the refrigerator and pantry and then back next week during spring break to clean out some more. Thankfully we don't have to sell the house immediately.

Saturday is a blur...we got in and out as fast as we could to move the furniture. My aunt Mary, cousin Nancy, Lorelai, and a neighbor and his son helped on the house end. Hank and I hit the road for The Oaks where another set of friends met us to unload. We spent the rest of the day hanging pictures, making beds, setting up the bathrooms and running back and forth to the store for all of the things we forgot.

Sunday morning...well...Mother called before we could leave here to tell us not to come. She called Hank again twice on his cell phone on the way to say that she wasn't going. She got angry that my cousin John was coming. When we arrived Ann was trying to reason with her, but Ned was all dressed in his khaki pants and Tar Heels shirt ready to roll. He was one excited dude.

The first words mother uttered when I walked in was, "Don't let HER talk to me...tell her NOT to talk to me." Then she saw John, shaped up and sat down to drink a cup of coffee. While he distracted her, Hank and I took the rest of her clothes and so forth right out the front door. Ann was our saving grace once again...she kept whispering come on...you can do this. Mother would say NO I CAN'T...and Ann would say, oh yes you can...you can do this...you know it's the right thing to do.

Around 11:00, mother suddenly picked up her purse and off we went. Ned rode in the truck with Hank, and my intention was that mother would ride in my car with John and me. Still pretending that I wasn't there, she got right in Ann's car for the hour long trip. Is it horrible and or cowardly of me to say that I was relieved?? Well, I WAS RELIEVED! Being invisible isn't the worst thing in the world.

Thankfully, when we arrived at The Oaks, she was pleased with how we'd arranged her rooms. We ate a delicious lunch in the dining room...southern Sunday dinner at its best...fried or baked chicken, roast beef, mashed potatoes, rice and gravy, green beans, fruit salad, a full salad bar, sweet tea and assorted desserts. Lots of people came over to speak and welcome her. Right after lunch, Aunt Mary and Nancy arrived and shortly thereafter, John's wife and kids. It was a regular family reunion and mother ate it up. She took everybody on a tour of her rooms and even sat down at the piano in the sitting area outside of her door and played a chorus or two of What a Friend We Have in Jesus.

At 3:00 we walked over to show everybody Ned's house and room. He played the part of king of the castle beautifully... SO proud and excited. He is the first resident to move in, which is going to put him in the favorable position of big man on campus when the others finally arrive.

About 3:15, my aunt walked over to me and said, "Your mother wants to know why you didn't tell her that they were moving in today..."

I swear I wanted to go BANG MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL. That desire was quickly overcome by an overwhelming desire to sit on the floor and laugh hysterically until the men in little white coats arrived to escort me to my padded room. I didn't do either...just smiled a weary little smile and rolled my eyes.

Hank took mother back to her rooms and Ned changed into his comfortable clothes and settled right in. He went over and ate supper with mother and as he started back across the street for the evening...walked over, gave her a little hug, shook her hand and said..."Good Night Jeanette...see you tomorrow."

We all about fell in the floor laughing. He's never called her by her first name in his entire life. We reckon this was his way of saying...OK...I'm a man now...got my own house...larking out on my own. It was PRICELESS! Ned is going to BLOSSOM and I am so excited that I can hardly contain myself.

Having said all of this...I'm exhausted...both mentally and physically. As we drove in the yard last night Hank mentioned that he hadn't been so weary since his daddy passed away a few years ago. Thank heavens for the best boss in the world...he hasn't made me feel guilty one time for being out of the office and we aren't done yet...lots of little ends to tie up.

Mother made it thorough the night...no phone calls. I checked in with the nurse awhile ago and she tells me that mother is up and moving around. Ned will go over for a visit later this morning and probably again this afternoon. We feel like it's better for him to go to her rather than the other way around. We don't want her to get into the habit of trying to control what goes on at his house...and believe me, she would try if she had the chance.

THANK YOU MY FRIENDS...both the people I see on a regular basis and my friends out in blogland. We couldn't have made it through this with even a shred of sanity left without your prayers, kind words of encouragement, and actual help.

I need to get dressed and go to the office for awhile. But first...here are a few photos of Ned's finished room for your enjoyment. Various friends and family members in the photos also...I don't know what happened to my captions. XOXO


31 comments:

  1. I am so happy for your brother! What a wonderful new experience for him!

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  2. Bless your heart!!! you have to be exhausted... but LOVE Ned's reaction. You are soooo right - he's going to totally BLOOM!!! He's going to love it there & feel "independent"... & hopefully, your mom will get new friends, get adapted & things will go smoothly now.... did I just hear you laugh? :-)

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  3. Girl...you are unbelievable. You are handling your situation with so much class I can't even tell you.

    I truly hope your mother and Ned grow to be happy where they are now. How lucky they are to have you in their lives.

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  4. I have prayed for you all weekend! They youth is hard, sometimes being older and wiser is even harder! How gracious she handled it in the "end". Just picked up her purse and said let's go!

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  5. I was so worried about the actual move and how stressed out your mom would be (and you) but it seems to have gone very well. I love Ned's quilt!! His room and new found freedom as an adult are the best thing. It is so hard on your mom in this part of her life to let go because I am sure she feels like it is over for her. Of course she will blame you but don't take it personally. She will be fine and you will too!!

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  6. Oh, I am so happy for the both of them and for you and your family as well. Ned is for sure in his element now. He will do so well that it brought tears to my eyes just thinking how he will flourish now being able to control his own destiny. Thanks for the update and for sharing the pictures of "Ned's Place".

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  7. I'm moving.
    thequeenbeeandherboys.blogspot.com

    I'm coming back tonight to read this post. Hoping all is well.

    Belle

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  8. Sorry you had such trauma on moving day but it does sound as if it all turned out well in the end.
    The room looks all comfy and cozy.

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  9. "Ned is going to BLOSSOM" Yes, he is. As the mother of a child who is, for lack of better words, a bit different, I understand the difficulty that your mom had in letting go, but you are right, Ned is going to do well.

    Hugs,
    Lisa

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  10. His room looks so good!!

    Y'all are in my prayers.

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  11. Do something for yourself this week. You deserve it!! Still thinking about you!!

    xoxo

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  12. YAY!!! I'm so glad things went relatively smoothly!! and I am SO excited for Ned! Congratulations! I know how anxious you have been about this! YAY! :)

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  13. Yay! You did it & you're over the hump!!! Ned's room is perfect & I bet he's so proud of it. The pictures are great. I loved his Good Night Jeanette. That was awesome. ☺

    Are you going to take pictures of your mom's room? For some odd reason I didn't take pictures of my mom's assisted living rooms & I'm so sorry that I didn't.

    You've done a wonderful job, just hang in there! ♥ Diane

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  14. I am glad that part is behind you. Now all the emotions might come running down at you, just get some rest and let the tears roll if necessary. Glad it went as well as it did!

    Smiles!

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  15. I've been thinking of you! What a stress this whole thing has been for you. You appear to take in stride, but I know things like this can take its toll. I'm glad you got them both moved in and that your Mom took to the new place, piano and all! She's off to a great start. Prayers for peace and rest!

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  16. Well dear it sounds like it went reasonably well. I'm sure that Ned is just fit to burst with pride at having his own place, and the good evening to you mother was priceless! What a gentleman! Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I know this transition still has some bumps but it sounds like you are in the home stretch. Thanks for sharing the pictures. Hugs, Kathy

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  17. Oh! I'm so glad that the "move" is over...for the most part anyway! And so happy for Ned! He is going to do great! I can relate to the stubborness (is that a word?) of your mom because I see it often with my mother! But I cracked up when I read the part about what your aunt said to you...I'm still laughing because if she only knew!!!

    ~Beth

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  18. I am so happy for all of you. Now I hope you can get back to normal soon :)

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  19. Sounds like it went relatively well. You're in our prayers!

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  20. i couldn't help but giggle at the "don't let HER talk to me" bit. love ned's room btw, esp. the quilt!

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  21. Oh, Ned!! He is precious!
    Whew--glad it went well!!! Your planning with distractions payed off!

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  22. I'm so excited that you will now have some constant help with your Mom. It will be such a relief for you to know someone is always around to keep an eye out for her. Ned is on his way to the next phase of his life. He is such a lucky guy to have you as his sister.
    Hope things can now calm down a bit and you don't crash after all the stress. Take a break, you deserve it!

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  23. That ordeal must have been exhausting for you. I am sure you are relieved now. It sounds like it was the right move at the right time.

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  24. You are a candidate for sainthood Miss Belle, oh my word! I can empathize a bit on the mom issue, it is just extraordinarily difficult.

    The opportunities for Ned sound so incredible, you really defined when you said he will blossom! He seems such a treasure and it is fabulous to see this ahead of him. (Not to mention the madras bedspread!)

    I'm sending you a hug Miss Belle, you truly are remarkable.
    tp

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  25. I'm do excited for Ned. I know he must be very happy.

    The only problem I see is all that Gamecock stuff.

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  26. What a wonderful, long overdue new beginning for Ned. Your mother will be telling people that this was her idea before long!
    Jo

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  27. Whew, when the ride comes to a complete stop, lift the rail and disembark to the left!

    Oh my!

    Hope that things will calm and that your mom and ned will settle in and embrace their new lives.

    Ned sounds like he is doing awesome. Will pray for your mom...

    ~Julie

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  28. What an impressive undertaking and great example for others to follow. You've clearly thought everything through and made wonderful choices for your mom and brother.

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  29. Bless your heart...you must be so exhausted...but you're almost there! And it's so cool that Ned is taking to this like a fish to water! And I bet your mom settles in and everything works out beautifully. Hang in there!

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  30. What a story! I'm so happy for you that it's all done. Love the photo tour of Ned's room...bless his heart!

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