Hank and I went to see Mother and Ned on Sunday afternoon to try to get a few things in order for their move.She doesn't want to move now.
She is angry that we keep trying to tell her what to do and make decisions for her.
She doesn't want us to come to her house EVER again.
She says that we don't know her...we don't know Ned. WHO do we think we are???
Okey dokey then...As Chris Matthews would say..."it's time to play hardball!" Moving day has just moved up...furniture on the 21st and them on the 22nd. Friends and cousins are on standby to be there with us as we load things up and help with the transition.
Hank (who has recently lost his charm with Mother...he could always reason with her while I've
been the ungrateful hardhearted wicked witch) and I will continue in the roles of "bad cops" while friends and family will be on hand as decoys and distractions.I'm beyond knowing what else to do to make this easier for them. The hatefulness is new and I have to say, I'm having trouble knowing how to respond.
I'm so sorry for posting these whiney things lately...bear with me for the next couple of weeks...
thanks for stopping by my blog. Your post here sounds post intriguing and heartbreaking. I think I'm going to have to read more! have a good day.
ReplyDeleteOh, my friend!! I feel your pain, anger, shock, disappointment!!! While my mother was staying at my sister's home (mother is now staying with me!), she would say very hurtful things to my sister. Which to this day we can not figure out why because that is so not my mother!!
ReplyDeleteBut maybe it's because they feel their independence is being taken away.
Sayng a prayer that all will go well!
~Beth
Hope things go more smoothly than you are anticipating.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you. This must be so hard on you emotionally. You are doing the best thing for her and your brother. I hope that when all is settled, she will calm down and remember what a thoughtful and caring daughter you are to her.
ReplyDeleteJo
You poor thing. I can only say what I would do... and that is to continue doing what you know is right for your mother and Ned and try not to hear the hurt in her heart as she will surely realize eventually that you were moving her out of love.
ReplyDeleteOhhhI so understand how you feel. I am the only relative since my parents passed that deals with my grandmother. She is in a home but I get the calls daily on how she wants to move back home. That I only want her money and never do anything for her. Mind you of the four grandchildren I am the only one that does anything for her. Its depression and I fight hard with the bitter that creeps in..uggg..I will pray for you!
ReplyDeleteBless your heart... I know this isnt easy on you.... & your poor mom. Sounds like she just doesnt want change... Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteDon't apologize! This is the exact place to post about these things and get support for what you are going through.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you are having such a tough time...and I hope your other family members will be there to help out when you need them. I'm sure that would really be a help.
You are doing what is best for them...keep that in mind.
Oh, I know this will be so hard. and it is hard to bear the brunt of her anger. I think this is quite common with what you are having to do. My friends who have had to put parents in assisted living | nursing homes have experienced the same thing. I know it won't make it easier, but I just wanted to share that with you. Will be praying for this time for you. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI feel for you! My grandmother lives with my mom and dad and sometimes I think she's going to drive them absolutely crazy! This week she has been on a mean kick, as well! Maybe it's something in the air. In any case, good luck!!
ReplyDeleteI will be praying for you and your family. I'm sure this is very trying.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh. I'm so sorry. Mothers...they can really do a number on you. Be strong. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteBelle
I'm very sorry to hear about your MIL. I pray things go as quickly and as smoothly as possible for you and for her on moving day.
ReplyDeleteughhhh...that's got to be so tough. Hang in there. Almost over.
ReplyDeleteBelle, there's nothing wrong with the way you feel. Thats what your blog is here for, to let off some steam.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you are going through this. Its never an easy transition. You know what you are doing is right so find comfort in that.
All of us here in blog land are praying for you!
Much love and prayers,
Sabrina
I hope things get better for you during the move. Here's hoping something will change and it will be a happy move and they both get settled in quickly :)
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear this. It sounds like you are being incredibly strong in the face of a really challenging situation. You are in my thoughts and prayers!
ReplyDeleteBe well and have some fun today!
It can't be easy, but your doing what's right for both of them. I admire your strength, will, and humor! Those traits will see you through.
ReplyDeleteUgh, Im sorry! I can only imagine how hard it must be! But press forward! You know you are doing the right thing for both of them. And she just may thank you later, well in her own way! I'll keep you in my prayers especially as moving day comes closer!
ReplyDeleteLately my siblings and I have been dealing with my elderly mother and father on a different level...but the frustration is exactly the same. On top of that I'm dealing with a big brother that has forgotten the importance of honoring our parents.
ReplyDeleteI hope that somehow you are able to get them moved. I know Ned needs change. In your prayers...
I know how difficult this can be, we had a similar situation with my mother-in-law years ago before she passed. It's so hard to hear those hurtful things, but don't second guess your decision. You know that this is best for both her and your brother, and I'm sure the rest of your family knows also. Be strong, feel free to vent - that's a big part of what we are all here for! When the dust settles, I'm sure that things will calm down. Hugs and prayers, Kathy
ReplyDeleteOh, gosh, sorry! :(
ReplyDeletesometimes we have to whine on the blog... it's what the blogosphere is for, right? good luck!
ReplyDeleteits your blog and you can vent if you want too!
ReplyDeleteMAN she sounds like my mom's mom. Goodnes, goodness. Southern (to the MAX), hard headed, and hates to be backed into a corner...even if it's for her own good! Hmmm... I better watch and learn now because I fear I act like that someday... eeek!
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, YOU GO GIRL! Let it out!! I maintain that you are a GREAT daughter.
Your family is in our prayers. Just keep moving forward.
ReplyDeleteJo