Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I'm Going to Complain Now....You Might Want to Run from this Post

Be forewarned....I'm complaining...Run Away....Run Away

Last night we got a call that mother had had "a spell." Her blood pressure went up and she was dizzy and fell. She wasn't hurt and Laura, the nursing director, called us and stayed with her until a sitter could come to stay the night. Laura couldn't go into too many details with mother staring her down while she was talking, so I got up this morning and, after checking in at the office, made the hour drive over the Green Grove to be sure that everything was OK.

I checked in with Laura first and she had a BIG ol' tale for me. Mother is having inner ear problems and is feeling poorly with a urinary track issue. It stands to reason that the inner ear is what is causing the dizziness and heaven knows that urinary track problems can make you feel like you've been hit by a Mack Truck. All very manageable, though. Tylenol, lots of water, an antibiotic, and in a couple of days life is good again. Cool beans!

While Laura was trying to talk to mother; however, mother started to cry her eyes out and talk nonsense about how she was "going to die now and is a terrible mother because she gave her child (she's talking about Ned unless there is some other child that I'm unaware of) away and now it's Christmas and they are apart (he lives across the street) and what kind of mother abandons her child and then dies!!!!" In short, Laura believes that the blood pressure spike was a panic attack. After mother cried for about 45 minutes she seemed to have some of that out of her system.

Way to spread sunshine, mother....WAY to spread sunshine!

So, I went on down the hall to check on things and mother was still in the bed, which is fine. She informed me that she is sick because she is allergic to her NIGHTGOWN!!!! Now tell me, how in the blue blazes might a reasonable person respond to that one? All I could do is suggest that she change into another nightgown...perhaps one that has never given her any trouble.

I left her resting in the capable hands of the nursing staff, armed with Ativan in case she goes over the edge again.

Here's the thing...I know that she probably IS a little blue that she and Ned aren't back at home all cozy and snug. Ned; however, is NOT sad. Laura said that as she walked out of mother's room last night, Ned, Scott, and Mr. Herman were walking down the hallway headed back across the street after attending a Christmas program. They were laughing and cutting up and Ned walked right by mother's room without a second glance. Bless his heart, he's tasted sweet freedom and he LIKES it. We let him decide when he wants to go over to visit with her and he's gradually gone from visiting every day to just going on Sunday afternoon and one other afternoon during the week. I doubt if that makes her very happy either.

Mother is going to be a PIECE of work between now and Christmas. I just have a bad feeling about it. Pray for us, friends. My way of coping is to lapse into a state of wanting to control everybody and everything and that's NO good (well, it WOULD be good if people would just cooperate with me, but......).


  1. You certainly have your hands full...but you know, someone has to be in control. Maybe you should talk to Ned. Maybe it is emotionally difficult for him to visit. On the bright side, it seems most of your mother's medical problems are psychological. Not so good for you, but for her physical health.

    Your posts are frustrating to write, I am sure, but I sure am getting a kick out of them!


  2. I know it is not easy for you, in fact, I know it is &^%^ hard, but you gave me a laugh today that I needed. (I am sorry it had to be at your expense.) I could just imagine the whole nightgown conversation and it sent me into spasms of laughter.

    Have a cup of coffee/glass of tea/or a cocktail and enjoy your beautifully decorated home. (I have done NOTHING - mine is absolutely bare of Christmas decorations. I am hoping the decoration fairy will appear this week-end.)

  3. Sending you hugs! I will be praying for peace in your family these next few weeks.

  4. Thinking of you (boy that sounds like a sympathy card - sorry). Hope it does get better - at least you can know you are entertaining the rest of us, right?

    Sorry about Roy - wonder what that whole story is?

  5. I will definitely be thinking about you and praying for the best coping and patience for you and yours. Isn't it wonderful about Ned? I mean how that must give you such joy and peace.

    Your mother's meltdown may be more about Ned not visiting her everyday. Hugs to you!! xoxo

  6. So sorry that you are having to deal with this now of all times. It does sound as if Ned is doing beautifully and I'm sure that has something to do with the meltdown. And I would just about bet that the BP spike was due to the anxiety attack. I hope this calms down soon. And I would no more run away from one of your posts than turn down a free trip to the Bahamas! Vent all you want, that's what we are here for. And besides, your venting is usually extremely entertaining! Kathy

  7. I know exactly how mom feels because my college son ignores me all the time. With that being said, I am wishing the best for you!

  8. I just found your blog and I don't have a clue as to what is going on but my mom just had a spell of vertigo and had to be put in the hospital. Her blood pressure was up too. It comes on fast and she throws up and messes on herself (she is only 68) and has to stay in the hospital overnight. She goes to the doctor and he says that she had wax in her ear but nothing else. Go figure. I sound like you too....wanting to control everything. Take it from me, it is NOT good for you body or mind. Hope all works out.

  9. We are at the beginning of all of this with my husband's father. I will have to get advice from you because I kind of get frustrated with him sometimes (father in law) not husband.

  10. I am praying my is going to be a challenge.

  11. This must be the week for mom issues. I should forward you the email that I received from my mom last night. You wouldn't know if you should laugh, or cry. I am voting that we laugh, or we shall never make it through this life.


  12. Oh wow. Bless your heart. It seems like you are doing what a good daughter and sister does.

    Just use the blog as a venting outlet and drink lots of wine. That will pull you through it.

    I'm soooo happy for Ned!

  13. Oh my goodness...I'll be prayin! But I am glad that Ned seems to be having a great time...that's wonderful!


  14. the holidays are always stressful and I think your mom now realizes that Ned does not "need" her and this is too overwhelming for her. Is there an opportunity for volunteer work at her new home?

    Good luck with your Mom and Ned and keep your sense of humor!


Please makes me HAPPY!