Sunday, July 27, 2008

God has a heck of a way....

Lorelai met a boy on the cruise with whom she has been corresponding quite a bit. He was going to come for a visit this weekend. I was leary, but she really wanted to see him again and we certainly were not going to allow her to go to visit his family, not knowing them or anybody who knows them. He stopped calling her the day before he was expected. When she called to inquire as to whether or not he was OK, he was "sleeping" and that was the end of that. No word since. It was kind of like prom weekend all over again. Devastating to her and maddening and exhausting for us.
I know that the characters on The Sopranos aren't real people, but I need to call my friend Rob and ask him to get his Uncle Vito to pay this young man a visit. I've never met Vito but I imagine that he looks kind of like Paulie, on the left there in the picture. I'd feel better if somebody could teach this fellow a lesson about living up to an obligation.

I guess my question is this. What in the world has happened to common decency? All this boy had to do was call and say, "I'm not going to be able to come for a visit." How hard is that? Given what we now know, I'm certainly glad that he did not come, but no mother wants to see her child's feelings crushed. Even though Lorelai invited some friends over to swim and hang out, it really put a damper on her 18th birthday and it brought out the worst in me. I can't figure out a loving way to convince her that who she is and how she feels about herself should not be contingent on the attention of a boy. (Any words of wisdom???) All of my attempts come across sounding hardhearted...then we argue and she stomps off and yells "I can't wait to get out of this house" and I'm thinking...."God really has a heck of a way of getting us ready to let go." We're on this wild roller coaster of emotion...everybody but Legare. He just watches and listens and I know he's thinking..."one more more week!"

Yes indeed...God really does have a heck of a way...


  1. Oh, how I wish I knew the anwser to your question, so I could tuck it away for future use when my little girl hits that stage of her life.
    Anyway, I do think we all go through this and conquer one way or another.

  2. Ouch. That was a heck of a note. Guys like that don't have the mental capability of being a good boyfriend. Just hate she had to be bummed on her birthday. I think she's just probably venting to you because she knows that you would never reject her, which is probably how she is feeling right now. Just hug her tight.

  3. Thank you both...things are better today...we'll make it.

  4. So sorry to hear what a bag the boy turned out to be. Take heart that there are moms out there of boys (like me) who constantly throw their advice around like...I'm a girl and that is not how I'd want you to treat me and..not gonna lie...I'd kick your rear if you ever used know that kind of advice : )


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